Winning Your Child, continued

II. Sling your baby
After prayer, the source of my confidence in winning my newly adopted child comes from a baby sling.
(I like Over the Shoulder Baby Holder)

A sling provides the physical help to hold your baby for hours on end. It promotes a nurturing hold, a safe place for the child to begin to look at his surroundings. It encourages eye contact and plenty of overall physical contact.

A baby sling is especially helpful if the child is showing signs of attachment disorder: arching back, stiff body position, lack of eye contact, furtive eye contact, nervous crying, and inconsolability.

Other methods of transporting a child are certainly good. But, if you are involved in an adoption consider using a sling over a stroller, Baby Bjorn or backpack. Here are a few reasons why:

Baby Bjorn
A few years ago I read a book by a scientific psychologist Robert Karen on Attachment (Becoming Attached). He studied mother/child modes of attachment in different cultures and even in the animal world. Based on many studies, he concluded that a child who was well bonded to his mother had a better ability to explore his environment. When a child feels safe in his mother’s relationship and company, he is able to go a few steps away from his mother and investigate his surroundings. In my opinion, a child whose life is being radically changed by adoption won’t have the feeling of security necessary to make the Baby Bjorn a good method of transportation. If the child is in a state of anxiety and confusion from a sudden change in care taker, surroundings, and language, I think it is very demanding on this child to be constantly exposed to strange eyes and faces. Also, allowing this overwhelmed child to lead the way doesn’t give him the sense of safety and security that an infant desires.

Stroller
There is so little time to win back your child. Put your baby bag and shopping bag in the stroller and carry your new baby. Hold your baby for feeding and sleeping as much as possible.

Back pack
A back pack will help to make the child feel safe, will provide physical contact, but the lack of eye contact which is the main form of communication for these bewildered children is missing.

(to be continued)